Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Pre-Fab

I take the train around the outskirts of Tokyo; there are boundaries, a place where the city starts & ends but you'd never know it & you'd never find them if you looked. The city is endless; buildings rising & falling with the sun. An undulating topography in concrete chaos; metastasizing out into the sea 'reclaiming' land that it never really owned, never quite reaching the mountains that seem far, far away.
  The streets are a flea-market of architectural design; grey, modular buildings, real Moonbase Alpha stuff, Insectile glass hives, cheerless apartment blocks, flourishes of continental villas, slate-roofed houses invoking a sense of history in a country where buildings over 10 years old are deemed ancient, buildings so obscured in smog & shadow that no other definition or design could be determined. Form may follow function but Sullivan is lost in translation, or I am.

The sun on my face I lean my forehead against the cool, greasy glass. I feel the thrum of the train & the city beneath it. It's sunny, the light strobing through the breaks between the blocks.  At the stations & along some of the streets there are yellow pathways that look like the tops of Lego blocks; they're there for the blind. Maybe the whole city's really made of Lego?
The train rises up above this sub-suburb & I look out across the city. Four Tet's "you could ruin my day" is the soundtrack for this scene. Then there's Fuji, beautiful & imposing. Winter skies are crystal clear here. The city doesn't quite get there & never quite will. I hope.
Then it's gone behind the towers & aerials & hoardings & windows & stations. Yet somehow it all seems (& always has) like a scale model; a finely crafted construction of balsa wood & forced perspective, the kind that Godzilla would tear through in his rubber suited glory; a pre-fabricated pretense of a city. Fuji is the painted backdrop & if I could reach beyond the glass I could cross the city in seconds or pluck those buildings from the distance, no more than an arms length away.



A song for the city, a city song

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

awkward hearts

  
A boy & a girl; teenage dreams, teenage hearts & teenage kicks (so hard to beat). A crowded train, a crowded city & it's been a long, long day for everyone. The boy nods his weary head into his chest, his hands front & centre as propriety demands. The girl slides her head onto his shoulder; a movie dream, a teenage dream (so hard to beat) as much as she dares. She fidgets in her seat, fidgets with her hands, fidgets with propriety. Her hands long to touch his, to hold them & yet with awkward bodies & awkward hearts they remain & so instead she clings ever so tightly to the cuff of his jacket; that sleeve his soul, his love, his word, his look & in all those things her own.
A smile of memory & empathy; those first loves; as defining as they are destroying; enormous in everything. Those teenage dreams are so hard to beat. Do we ever?
The bittersweet jealousy I feel for what they're going through pushes aside the cynicism or truth that life reveals in those formative years they've yet to run & I wish them well.
Their awkward hearts & awkward feelings in a country where such feelings cling only to the cuffs, as propriety demands.
I leave them to the train & as I alight I wonder; do we ever outgrow our awkward hearts?

Sunday, 16 January 2011

...it could almost be Manhattan. Pt:II

Me & Jolene

...it could almost be Manhattan.

The day starts somewhere with snowfall on the edges of the city; the snow melting before it can lay it's gentle kiss & icy nose anywhere near the heart of the city. I imagine snowflakes buffeted on currents of warm air, expelled from aircon units; the breath of the city. Shrinking, disolving, disappearing before we even knew they were there.
We bundle ourselves into clothes upon clothes, anything & everything to keep out the cold. It's time for me to become both tourist & tour guide in this city once again; a river cruise, hot chocolate & a walk along the beach; Arm in arm, hands in pockets. A walk on the beach and it's a far cry from Thailand but from a certain angle it could almost be Manhattan.

Saturday, 1 January 2011

1.1.11

The New Year is heralded in with the pop & flutter of a Party Popper which is a fitting metaphor.I awkwardly receive 2011 standing in my brother's living room, when I may just as well have been sitting. I never really got on with NYE, it's always just seemed somewhat anti-climactic, never seeming to really live up to it's own expectations. The best NYE I spent was 32000 feet above nowhere in particular; the new year arriving after I'd left & before I'd arrived. There was no announcement, no complimentary champagne toast; I was, as far as I could see, the only person awake. I smiled to myself, peeked out at the uncertain, twilight world far below & ordered another bottle of wine. There are no expectations in the time-less void of intercontinental flight...

2010 brought new friends & took some away, it brought new experiences that were good & bad, it brought a selection of dizzying high & crushing lows. I'm sure 2011 will be exactly the same in so far as it will be completely different.
I am lucky enough to have been let into the year without an  empty heart. I hope you have too.

Christmas Day 2010